Being married takes work, in the form of attention, responsibilities and recognition in the changing roles now that you are married due to expectations that are attached by society and yourselves. It is these expectations that can lead to either husband or wife taking the other for granted and make less of an effort to show love or attention to their significant other. Very swiftly, some marriages can swiftly disintegrate in these circumstances, but it is possible to rescue yourselves from even the most perilous of circumstances, simply by being attentive, supportive, complimentary and communicative in your relationship. Here are some more top tips to being a great spouse:
Stop Bickering
All couples have arguments, some of which are “hot topics” whether because of trust issues, lack of recognition or appreciation, judgement or ridicule. First, acknowledge this bickering has a bad impact on the health of your relationship. Then you can start controlling your own words without passing any judgement on how your spouse is dealing with the situation. Find out which of trust, respect, vulnerability, fear, lack of gratitude, empathy or loneliness is behind the argument and express your true feelings when you are not angry. If you struggle to understand their point of view, swap perspectives and argue their viewpoint whilst they argue yours.
Gift Spontaneous Treats
Surprise your spouse with something they like, without needing a reason. On birthdays and anniversaries, always gift a present that is special between the two of you like those you can find here. This could be a special piece of jewellery or another gift that symbolises the love you hold for them.
Work In Partnership
Keep each other updated with what you are involved with at work and home. Letting each other know how your day went is significant as it builds in flexibility as one of you steps in to help the other when work is challenging or can offer input if you are stuck with fixing something at home. Also, work together to create financial security. This is a measure of being on the same team over a long period of time “for better for worse, for richer for poorer.”
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Pay More Attention To Your Marriage Than Your Hobbies
It is extraordinary how many people spend more time, money, and effort on their hobbies than on their marriage. Learn about marriage through reading and other informative channels. Learning about communication techniques and conflict resolution will help you, and if your spouse is willing to do the same, you will do well.
Treat Your Spouse Better Than Anyone Else
Taking your spouse for granted breeds contempt. However, you will not grow bored with each other, or resent each other, if you remember that they choose to be there for you. Feeling appreciated keeps people from growing resentful and being aware that another person chooses to do things for them every day keeps them grateful. Contempt through familiarity cannot grow when you are feeling appreciative and loved.
Have Separate Interests
Everyone needs some private space and whilst you are a couple, you do not need to be joined at the hip. Encourage your spouse’s goals and celebrate their successes. Encourage them to work to achieve their dreams, even if that means taking on more chores, additional work or other sacrifices. Sometimes goals, such as a career change, are scary and need to be carefully evaluated, but working together shows your spouse that you are walking with them to achieve their ultimate goal.
Find Things You Enjoy Doing Together
Nurture the shared interests that you have. Go for long walks in the countryside, cheer on your favourite team or take classes to improve the sport you enjoy taking part in together, whether doubles tennis or athletics. Your shared activities are likely to change over time, so be flexible in finding new things to enjoy doing together.
